"The 80s called . . . "

" . . . they want their headphones back."

That's what Nathan said a few months ago when I first started wearing these headphones during my evening walks. So what? I despise those little bitty headphones you have to jam into your ears. I fidgeted with our pair so much, I finally broke them, leading me to start wearing these (which, by the way, I LOVE!). Nathan says they are officially a "noise-canceling, studio quality, personal audio system." Huh? All that means to me is 1) I could easily be plowed over by oncoming traffic since I can't hear thunder when I'm wearing them, and 2) I better not break Nathan's work headphones.

I like to walk in the evenings, mostly because it's quiet and peaceful, and also because fewer people see me in my 80s head gear. Tonight I saw seven toads. SEVEN! I'm a wannabe runner, but my joints are sub-par. Think, Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz ("ooiillllll caaaannnn").

Most nights I pass a blond college-aged girl jogging in short shorts who could crack walnuts on her fit little hiney. I smile and say "hi" but in my head mutter the usual, "Your time's comin', sistah." Ah, if only the beauty of youth lasted forever!

So, I may never run a marathon, but at any other speed I'd miss my toads. And maybe Lilly and Ian would miss my "soft" spots when we snuggle. I wonder what the blond jogger thinks of my headphones? No matter. Keep your walnuts. I like to walk.